I Would Never Blame You
by CrazyHunter666
Summary: Castiel is beating himself up after a bad hunt, and Dean tries to convince him it wasn't his fault. Warning: Angst and fluff


**I Would Never Blame You**

Description: Castiel is beating himself up after a bad hunt, and Dean tries to convince him it wasn't his fault.

The road disappeared behind them as Cas and the Winchesters drove home from a particularly bad hunt. It started of as a normal salt and burn, but then when the ghost targeted the oldest son Mike, Cas got knocked out and couldn't stop him. Mike was only 5, and was brutally slaughtered in front of his twin Em who was hiding behind the couch. Cas did get Em out and the father, Leon, but it didn't feel like it was enough. The mother of the family was already dead, which was what had attracted them there. It was utterly terrible and Leon had blamed the three for all of it. Some people react that way, and Cas couldn't exactly blame them. He should've been there to save Mike, he should've been stronger.

He sat in the passenger seat, gazing out of the window, Sam had gotten hurt on the hunt so he laid asleep in the back.

"You okay?" He heard Dean's rumbling voice question. The angel looked up tiredly and nodded, not very convincing. Castiel obviously wasn't okay. He knew there was no reason to beat himself up about it, but he couldn't help it. If he just hadn't let that ghost take control maybe Mike would still be alive. And now Em had to grow up without her twin, all because of him.

"Don't lie to me," Dean said, not angry, but exhausted. Castiel realized Dean was beating himself up about this too. He couldn't get why though, he had been the one messing up not Dean

"It wasn't your fault."

Castiel buried his head in his hands and sighed. "Yes, Dean it was. I should've fought it off, I should've protected them, I should've stopped it." Cas' voice broke. "And Em had to watch.."

"Hey," Dean said penetrating. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped it."

"Maybe.." He sighed. "But, Dean, don't you see? I always mess up, and there's always someone else -someone innocent- that has to pay."

"Yeah, but how many has survived because of you? How many have you saved?" Dean exclaimed. "We're hunters. Things go wrong. It's a part of the job. But at least we save more than we don't."

Cas turned around and looked Dean directly in the eye. "When have you ever followed that advice yourself?" Dean's eyes flickered between the road and Cas. "It doesn't matter, Cas. You saved Em. And Leon. That's better than what could've happened if you weren't there to help," Dean tried his best to convince Cas. To make him see how great he actually was. How important.

"If I wasn't there another hunter might, a better hunter," Cas refused to let Dean convince him. "He would've saved them."

That was enough for Dean. Careful not to wake Sam, Dean pulled over and put the car in park. He threw off his seatbelt and scooted towards Cas. Without giving it a second thought he put Cas' head in his hands, and gazed into his eyes.

"Cas, listen to me. You're great, you did great. Just think about all the times me and Sam have messed up. We started the apocalypse. I let Gadreel into my brother causing Kevin's death. I became a demon and murdered people carelessly. And you still care about me, you don't blame me. This is one mistake in plenty of victories. See? I don't care, I don't blame you. That's what matters, right?" Dean scanned Cas' face for a reaction. He had truly opened up to Cas, just so he wouldn't hear all the crap he said about himself.

Castiel looked up at the other man with an expression Dean couldn't quite read. Then, without a warning, Cas leaned in and planted a soft lingering kiss on Dean's lips. Dean's eyes widened in surprise before they filled with a warm joy, and he closed them. Leaning in too he gave signal to Cas it was okay and he deepened the kiss. Dean's pink lips moved sweetly against Cas' and there was more passion packed into that one kiss than Cas thought was possible.

They slowly parted and looked into each other's eyes, Cas wearing a small smile.

"So don't beat yourself up about this, okay? Please, Cas," Dean whispered in a husky voice. Cas took Dean's hand in his, and rested his head on the other man's shoulder.

"Okay, Dean. I promise."

And then, when they continued to drive, their hands was still intertwined and both wearing a bright smile.


End file.
